Anonymous asked:
what ARE your anti-dipshit with a clipboard and a confident stride measures?
systlin Answer:
“You are not allowed into the facility without presenting identification. Okay, lovely. I also need your site specific training for specific hazards of this location. Okay, thank you, finding that on record. Okay, so who is your plant contact? And what work are you here to do precisely? Your work order number should be on the job assessment that your supervisor should have been sent when setting up this job….oh? You’re missing any one of those things? Sorry I cannot allow you into the facility today.”
If someone shows up and is missing any single one of these or can’t come up with a plant contact name? They get turned away.
I have in the last week in fact had a dude scream at me because I would not simply let him in. He was insisting he was here to meet with a maintenance manager to see about repairing some of their equipment. Problem with this is that he said ‘your maintenance manager’
We have like seven maintenance managers who each specialize in specific departments or systems or projects. Not a single one. Someone saying ‘THE’ manager of anything here is, 100% of the time, trying to fish info out of me.
So I ask WHICH one, and he gets upset, and finally says the name of a dude who retired three years ago. I say ‘no, he does not work here, any other contact information you have?’
Now, what this dude wanted, 100%, is to go into the plant with his pickup truck and steal scrap metal and he was trying to Bavarian fire drill his way in. It did not work. He didn’t have any other names or contact info or appointment information or anything that could verify that he was supposed to be there. He was HOPING that when he screamed at me that he’d talk to someone and have me fired that I’d go ‘no no it’s fine of course’. If I HAD done that I WOULD have been fired. I didn’t. He left. Haven’t heard shit. Knew I wouldn’t. Wrote up an incident report with his description and vehicle description so now everyone knows what’s up with him.
That’s how you defeat a dude with a clipboard and a confident stride.
OP has it absolutely right, and I want to ride on these coattails to tell a different kind of anti-sneak story.
I worked front desk for a company that had a LOT of sales people cold calling us about shit. They wanted to sell us office supplies, supplies more specific to our business, seminars for our employees, every damn thing you could think of. Our company was part of a much bigger company, so they assumed we had a ton of money to spend on contracts, gear, whatever. Enter Peter Jenkins - name changed for privacy reasons.
Our website listed Peter Jenkins as head of Sales and Marketing, or something to that effect, and he was essentially the go-to for anyone trying to sell us something. As the front desk person, I manned the single fax machine of the office, and I’d get several sales-oriented flyers that had things hand-scribbled in the corner: “For Peter, as per our chat last week! Take care!” I’d get tons of calls that needed to be directed to Peter’s line. Lots of people were cold calling… but several said that Peter was expecting a call back from them.
Peter did not exist.
“Peter” had a voicemail inbox that was regularly emptied without being checked, an email inbox that was never checked, and basically served as an incredible litmus test for sales people’s honesty. We once had someone come in saying they had a meeting booked with Peter - I asked them to sit and wait, called up a high-ranking person in the office, and asked them if Peter was in the office today, because someone was here for a booked meeting with him. Said high-ranking person said please take down all their information and let them know Peter was not in today, could they please email Peter to reschedule. I think we blacklisted that company within a few hours of that salesperson walking out.
Fucking love this.
I also field many cold sales calls and hang up on many pushy sales reps and tbh I’m bringing this idea up to my boss because it’s brilliant.
